Daydream

During my class on Abnormal Psych, my professor mentioned a word that punched a hole in my "G.S.-mode-mind"..."And what is the word??".. the word is Daydream. Since we are having discussions on the symptoms of ADHD, it is chanced upon that she said the following phrase..

"....daydreaming is a scapegoat. It is a defense mechanism of our brain. All people do that, not just the ones with ADHD."

-Daydreaming-

words..echoed through my head until it hurts.

...it is a defense mechanism of our brain to protect us from depression..it is like a natural high or we can say it is an innate "drugs (Droga Meeeeennn!!)" injected by our brain whenever we feel depressed, or need to get away from something, get away from the harsh, awful, facts of life.

free drugs!! WoooOo!! why not? a natural high to escape this reality..who would have thought that our brain can be so deceptive and caring (awwww)? Sure..Sure its nice to be "high" once in a while (with no dangerous side-effects mind you..), but i am guessing that when you find yourself daydreaming most of the time then there maybe a problem after all..

during the past few months, my mind always slips to dreamworld..sometimes i took it to myself to resist the temptation to wander but to no avail...

sometimes i dreamed of being a good-looking player of a college basketball league... with my hair tied on a ponytail, with an athletic build, and ofcourse with a fair complexion..i dreamt of always outplaying and outsmarting all of my opponents and winning the game with marvelous, camera-perfect three point shots..fans cheering on..shouting my name out loud with sighs of utter admiration to what I have accomplished...

sometimes i find myself dreaming that i am an artist (no..not the one in visual, musical or sculpting..the TV artist.....as much as it is sickening..it is the truth...) being cheered on, being hugged by fans, being well loved by all..

sometimes i dream of being a conductor in a grand hall.. i remembered i was conducting famous classical pieces..from the most famous and respected composers and conductors of old. Beethoven, Mozart...deserving of a Standing Ovation and cheer from all the people includng the musicians surrounding me..

..i also found myself as a pianist, with my tuxedo, playing on a lerge concert hall full of people wishing to hear me play...eyes are on me...drowning in the classical and neo-classical music that I have created..i remember sheer awe from the audience...

..i can not help myself but to get overwhelmed of a sudden rush of emotions..a sense of pure joy...

..joy experienced within a daydream..

..dreams of being "something" more...someone who I wished was me...but will never be..daydreaming to feel that everybody loves you, to feel that all are listening to you..a foolish hope that someday people will see you as 'Some-One'..all eyes are upon you, their admiration...i can not help myself but smile just a bit..

..but then again..

..it is just a dream..